I Hate Females (from the female perspective)

I’m Ready To Go!

Girls. In the words of Cyndi Lauper “Girls just wanna have fun”.  But when I want to have fun, do I really have to wait around for hours for people to get ready? Yes. The amount of time spent staring into the mirror painting this section of skin, or burning that tangle of hair is just agonising. Do we really need all that slap?

Being a female myself, why am I questioning my sisterhood’s rituals? Well when you live in a house full of girls, it soon becomes a nightmare, constantly waiting for everyone to be ready. No you don’t need to take an hour to straighten your hair, no you don’t need those fake eyelashes, and no those jeans do not make your arse look big.

Don’t get me wrong, I wear make up –occasionally- but it doesn’t take more than five minutes to apply it.

If we all lived like natural beauties (as POD from BBC3s  Snog, Marry, Avoid suggests) perhaps we might actually get a move on and do something. Honestly do you think men actually appreciate the efforts women go to? I don’t know.

I can recall numerous times waiting for girlfriends to be ready in time for the most menial of things. Going to the cinema? You don’t need to be the bell of the ball to sit in a dark film screen. Going to the supermarket? Heels are not advisable.  It gets me all in a stupor just thinking about the layers of fakery us women go to in order to complete our day to day chores. Take some advice from the voice of Gaga, “baby you were born this way”. Embrace the slacks and nude skin.

I hate females. Hate is a strong word. Perhaps I just dislike the painstaking time it takes to get ready. I mean, how many men do you know that take more than two hours to get ready for a night on the town? (Not including the ones from Essex, of course)

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